4 steps and a leap of faith

So you've decided to get married. Here's how you do it.
1. Front up at your national embassy in Bangkok and fill out a Statutory Declaration declaring that you are 'free' (which means you are not currently married, are divorced or your previous wife is deceased. Note that if you are divorced or a widow, you will require a divorce or death certificate) to marry a Thai native. The embassy will charge a nominal fee for certification. Make sure you don't make any mistakes in relation to your passport information and number.
2. Seek out a translation service to translate the declaration into Thai. Reputable translation services charge around 500 Baht and complete the job in around 1 hour.
3. Make your way out to the Ministry/Department of Consular Affairs in Khet Laksi and lodge the documents with a copy of your passport and a passport photo. They will charge you 800 Baht for certification and you will get the paperwork back on the same day. They only charge 400 Baht if your not in a hurry and are willing to come back another day. Make sure you check every page is stamped and signed.
4. Head to an Amphoe/District office with your sweetheart and two of her friends, who will be required to act as witness and translator, sign your life away and pick up your marriage certificate. Sounds easy, well yes it is as long as you are organised and everyone has an ID card which will be photocopied for the Amphoe's records. The Amphoe won't charge a cent, however your new wife's friends will probably want to eat something and need some money for a taxi.
Alas, you are now legally married without even having had a Thai wedding. I've basically described the entire process which will cost about 2000 Baht excluding your time, food and taxi's.
Good luck.